Friday Night PicDump

The Hillbilly Vasectomy

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, but they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10." The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5". At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, AND All of Washington DC.

Life’s Rich Pageant – R.E.M. (25th Anniversary 2CD Box)

Continuing the reissue campaign of R.E.M. catalogue titles. the band will release their 1986 classic album, Life’s Rich Pageant, in a remastered and expanded set, planned for July 12. The album, which is planned as a 25th Anniversary set will contain the original tracks as well as a second disc of bonus demos from the album’s growth cycle. These 19 demos are referred to as the previously unreleased Athens Demos, studio recorded in 1986.

Capitol Records will release the 25th Anniversary title with extras included in the package (poster, 4 cards, expanded booklet with new notes, etc). It’s planned for CD/DD/and 180g LP (Mobile Fidelity).

Source: MusicTAP

How to Write Good

1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Source: Ned Hardy

Friday Night PicDump

Ten the end the week with:

Alien Wedding Cake

Recent Faves

In prowling around the web, here are some of my recent favorites:

Happy Valentine's Day

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Lazy Post

Tonight is a lazy post. Just pics from my file.

and finally, one of my favorites

And So It Begins...

I'd heard about it from someone at church Sunday, but saw it last night for the first time. Attorneys advertising to sue for ANY "damages" due to the oil rig explosion and subsequent oil spill.

I'm not saying that some people aren't entitled but I can see every Tom, Dick and Boudreaux trying to get a piece of the action.

I pray that the judges will not allow the frivolous cases to go through.

Vacation '10, pt 1

The toughest part of vacations for me seem to be just deciding what I'm going to do. Maybe I make it more difficult for myself, but I don't think so.

The biggest obstacle is that Gretch cannot get away. I can come up with many possibilities if it were the two of us. But when it comes up to just me alone, that's when it gets tough.

First, I want to go someplace. A "staycation" doesn't do it for me. But I don't particularly like doing vacation-type stuff alone. I like to share the fun with someone.

I'd like to go back to Manhattan. I've loved it both times I've gone. Sure I needed a rest after it was over, but there was always more stuff I wanted to do when the trip was over.

There are some cities I'd like to visit that I've never been too. Chicago, Denver, Philly, Vegas and others. In the summer, I'd prefer to go north.

If I'd thought of it early enough I would have gone to the huge Comic-Con in LA this summer. It's so geeky that I would have to go by myself. But it's been long sold out.

So I cruise the net and bash my brains for ideas? If you have any, please comment.

Time Machine - EastEnders

I've been having fun this week. I know, I know, who said I could do that? I've been spending some time in 1985; 30 minutes at a time.

I found someone online who has complete year sets of the BBC television show, EastEnders. EastEnders is a British soap that I started watching on a public television station right after graduating undergraduate school in 1986. I was fascinated by it because it showed, however accurately or not, daily British life. It was not watered down or translated for American viewers. There were many times, especially at the beginning, that I would have trouble understanding what they were saying. It all fit in to my life-long fascination with the British. And at the time I believed that I must not have been the only one. The Tampa station published a pamphlet with British vocabulary for the show. I only wish I'd kept it.

These DVDs are rough recordings someone made with their VCR at the time and are transferred to DVD. They are totally home-made. And actually, the roughness makes it a little more fun.

I don't know how the show is now (because it is still on the air in England) but at the time is didn't seem quite so "soapish." Time flows by much quicker than on American soaps. I don't think I would have watched it otherwise.

So if I don't answer my cell when you call, I'm probably in 1985. I'll be back soon.

Ready for a Road Trip

Ok, I'm ready for a road trip. So, I got online to check out concerts this summer. There really aren't many good artists touring this summer that I want to see. Those few that I do, the available locations are on unworkable nights. Except for one.

Both Yes and Peter Frampton, on the same bill, are playing Biloxi on Friday night, June 11th. I can actually do that one. So, I've put the announcement out. But I'm determined to go whether anyone else goes or not. So now all I have to do is wait.

Other than that I don't know what I'm going to do for vacation this year. I pray that God inspires me.

Ruff Monday Morning

Journey: Weight Loss - Wow, it was really tough to get up this morning. It was a long busy weekend. Saturday I ventured a little off of the diet. But I won't be able to see what the damage is until I weigh in Wednesday. I discovered that my scales at home are a little tricky. I was just getting on it once. But yesterday I tried it three times in a row and got three different measures. Grrreat!!. I saw some cool looking hi-tek scales on the internet, maybe it'd be worth it.

Anyway, as far as the diet is concerned, what I miss most is being able to eat a big breakfast. The protein shake alone just doesn't cut it. The only other thing I could do would be the protein omelet. And that means getting up earlier to make it. That's really difficult to do these days. Maybe after the time changes November 1st.

The only time I really have trouble with the diet is when I'm feeling down or depressed. I suppose in the "old" days when that happened I would seek comfort food. And that is the least healthiest. So, the majority of my problems are physiological.

Thursday I have my annual physical exam. I wonder what Jeff is going to say about it. I hope I break the 50 lb mark by then. But I may have blown that this weekend. Oh well. I knew it was going to be a long journey.

Martha Aucoin Update

Martha will be having surgery this Thursday morning. Doctors don't expect any surprises or difficulties. Please keep her and the family in your prayers.

Prayer Request

Please pray for Martha Aucoin. She discovered she has stage 1 breast cancer. Found early, her doctor said that her prognosis is good.

It's Only Logical

Just Trying to Get A Head

Just What I Don't Need, But Love

Ok, as if I needed another source of food that I really really really shouldn't eat. Just opened down the street from my office is a new eating establishment, Burgersmith.

I tried it out last night and was very pleased. I especially liked the home baked, toasted bun. The menu isn't very big but it's big enough.

And unfortunately the prices aren't unreasonable. So as long as I must rely on self control, it looks like I'll be there at least two more times.

Signage

At least he'll see it coming.

Batman 3???

Is this a scene from Batman 3: The Revenge of Mrs. Joker.

On the rat-walk: Rodent headdress unveiled

A designer has unveiled a full face headdress made of real mice and rat carcasses on the fringes of London Fashion Week.

A model paraded up and down the catwalk in the headdress, which covered her whole face except her eyes - rat tails dangling down at the front and whiskers tickling her skin.

The creation was designed by French-born hairdresser and wigmaker Charlie Le Mindu, 22.

"I really like mice and rats. But everybody doesn't like them and I just wanted to show people it could be really beautiful," he told AFP after the show.

Asked if he was worried about how animal rights campaigners might react, he said: "It's better to make them [the rodents] beautiful than give them to the snakes."

Le Mindu was not on the official schedule for London Fashion Week but staged a show on the fringes on the final day of the event.

- AFP

Ways to be cool

Why didn't I have this when I was in high school?

10 Gnome Action Movies

1. Toadstool Impact
2. Die Now, Frolic Later
3. Fatal Buttercup
4. Bluebird: Down!
5. Soldier of Merriment
6. Death Wears A Pointy Hat
7. Honeydew Velocity
8. Sudden Cottage
9. Twinkle With Extreme Prejudice
10. The Chipmunk Who Came In From The Cold

by Jason Toon & Scott Lydon

Hey, don't pick on me

Scabs Bandages are band-aids bearing sweet little gross illustrations -- maggots, hatching spiders, eyeballs, or zippers -- for to speed your healing with stomach-churning levity. They didn't make fun stuff like this when I was a kid. Check it out.

Someone is making a cartoon of my life...

This could easily, and might possibly, be a discussion in my house. Click the toon to make it larger.

Game? What Game??

Yeah, yeah, it was fun and exciting and close till the end. But check out here what you might have missed:

Help for Monday Mornings

I came across this little site with a live kitten cam. I needed it on this dreary Monday morning;



I hope you like it too.

8 Unusual College Scholarships

by Kara Kovalchik and MentalFloss.com

Young people just don’t appreciate how easy they have it these days. Back when I was in high school, only the smartest or most athletic students were candidates for any type of college scholarship. Not anymore. Today’s students don’t have to be the best and the brightest to score some scratch – they can parlay a hobby, goofy talent or even a genetic luck of the draw into scholarship money. Take a gander at some of the more unusual opportunities that are available for eight subsets of the population (but first get the heck off my lawn.)

1. Dessert Enthusiasts
Is your sweet tooth serious enough to pursue a future as a pastry chef or chocolatier? The American Association of Candy Technologists offers an annual $5,000 scholarship to students enrolled at an accredited university who plan to major in food science and have a demonstrated interest in confectionary technology. Sounds like a great opportunity to expand both your waistline and your bank account!

2. Duck Callers
OK, this contest may border on the goofy, but the top prize is $1,500 in scholarship money, so if you’ve got a knack for calling ducks we say you’ve got nothing to lose but your dignity (and travel fare to Arkansas). The Chick and Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Contest is open to any high school senior in the U.S. Participants have 90 seconds to demonstrate their best hail, feed, comeback and mating calls. The top three placers also receive commemorative jackets, so get quackin’, er c rackin’, because $1,500 isn’t exactly chicken feed. (Me, I’m still looking for that ever elusive Bad Pun Scholarship.)

3. Fire Safety Experts (or literate people with decent luck)
Fire sprinkler systems save lives, and they might just save your neck if you’re sweating that college tuition bill. The American Fire Sprinkler Association scholarship program is not based on financial need; all interested students need to do is read an essay about fire sprinklers and then take a 10 question multiple choice test. Get this – the test is “open book.” You can print out the essay before taking the test! Each correctly answered question enters you into a drawing for a $2,000 scholarship, so if you ace the test, you’ll have ten chances to win.

4. Bagpipe Major s at Carnegie Mellon

One of the least competitive scholarships in the U.S.—it’s not unusual for there to be zero applicants—is the Carnegie Mellon University Bagpipe Scholarship. It offers $7,000 per year to a student who intends to major in bagpiping. (Andrew Carnegie loved bagpipe music, you see, and even brought a personal piper with him from Scotland when he emigrated to the U.S.) On the plus side of this offer, you get a kilt subsidy. On the minus side, class is held in the basement of the building due to the vehement complaints from neighboring classrooms upstairs. (Sorry, no link available. Yeah, like any of you would’ve clicked on it anyway.)

5. Creative Students at David Letterman’s Alma Mater
Because David Letterman was a C student at Ball State University, he established a scholarship at his alma mater that is awarded to telecommunications majors based strictly on the creativity of a submitted project, rather than a student’s GPA. The top prize is $10,000; previous winners have included a satirical script based on the novel Pride and Prejudice and a stop-action animated film of a penguin climbing a beer bottle.

6. People Looking for Unique Prom Attire
If you don’t mind looking like a dweeb (a sticky dweeb, to boot) at your high school prom, you could earn yourself a $3,000 scholarship check from the folks who make Duck Brand Duct Tape. You and your date simply need to fashion your prom outfits completely out of duct tape and then submit a color photo for consideration. Oh, and you have to actually wear those outfits to the dance, too.

7. Aspiring Children’s Television Stars
The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences awards three $10,000 scholarships annually in the name of the late, great Fred Rogers to college students pursuing a career in children’s media. Remember all those puppet shows you used to put on in the garage? Maybe that was an early indicator of your special talent…you are special, y’know.

8. Twins Who Don’t Hate Each Other
If you happen to be a twin and don’t mind spending an additional four years with your sibling, several schools offer scholarships for twins. Morris Brown College in Atlanta, Georgia, waives tuition for one twin when both enroll, Lake Erie College in Painsville, Ohio, offers half-off tuition for each twin, and Wilson College in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, has 45% discounts available on tuition for female twins only.

"We've got to go back to the island"

Ok, I'm really looking forward to this.


Watch too and let me know what you think.

"Every" Simpsons Couch Gag

Disney Star Guitarist: Guitar Hero, But With Real Guitars

Any real guitarist will tell you that Guitar Hero has nothing to do with any real-world instrument. Disney, surprisingly, has created an educational and inoffensive spin that uses a real guitar as a controller.

Disney Star Guitarist, made with help from Washburn Guitars, uses the same style of "falling notes" that Guitar Hero and Rock Band use so well. But instead of cheap plastic buttons that mock my years of slaving over a sweaty fretboard, trying to learn some shitty Dave Mathews Band song so girls at college would sleep with me, Star Guitarist makes use of a real guitar. The special strings are included with the $200 game, and can be strung onto any standard guitar. Disney Star Guitarist, along with similar versions for keyboards and vocals, will be released for both PC and Mac this summer. [Wired]

Start your countdowns.

MercyMe - Cover Tune Grab Bag

One of the great things about the internet is talented people posting their creativity. Christian band MercyMe has a regular feature on their website called "Cover Tune Grab Bag" in which they make home made videos of their favorite pop and rock songs. Here is the latest.

Old Friends

I came across this comic strip from 1998. It's sad and so true. Will we ever learn?

11 Failed Beer Styles

1. Gruel Stout
   
2. Twice-Baked Lager
   
3. Turbo-Pilsner
   
4. Steam Beer That Is Still Really Hot
   
5. Stale Ale
   
6. Dry-Humped APA
   
7. Luxembourg Gray
   
8. Lambicarbonate of Soda
   
9. Insect Pale Ale
   
10. Bud Light With Brown Food Coloring Irish Stout
    
11. Hefvergnügen
    

By Toon, Lydon, Norman & Rutledge

And Now for Part Two...

Journey: Personal - I know, I know...I'm long overdue with my response to Quantum of Solace. There have been a lot of criticism and poo-pooing in the media that QoS is thin in plot, humor, etc. That it's not Casino Royale. My response to that is "Well, Duh!!" (in my best Jeff Foxworthy voice).

Of course it's not Casino Royale. Is it as good on it's own as Casino Royale, no. Let's face it. Casino Royale was a very hard act to follow. But QoS should be viewed as CR part 2. The beginning takes place literally just a few hours after the previous movie ended. And here Bond is searching for answers and Vespers killers. It is more brooding and introspective because of what Bond is going through. Without CR there could have been no QoS. Watch them back to back, it's one great ride.

Take out your copy of Casino Royale or rent it, watch it and then go straight to the theater and see Quantum of Solace. You'll see what I mean.

Oh, James...is that a gun in your pocket or...oh, it IS a gun..

Journey: Vicarious Adventure - OK, I'm definitely going tomorrow.



Check out this exciting review. Very different from the reviews that have been floating around about how bad the movie is. I'll be there as early as I can tomorrow.
Movie Review: Quantum of Solace Is the Perfect Bond Movie

What's that title again?

Journey: Living Though Movies - I can't help it, I can hardly wait...

After the great "Casino Royale" a couple of years ago, I've been waiting for this one. 

Anyone care to meet me at the theater?

Jesus Bring the Rain...

Journey: Personal - We're just not catching the very outer north-east of Ike. Before all is said and done, we might end up with more rain than we did for Gustav. We definitely got the better of that deal. It's been windy today but it was a hot damp wind. I'm glad for the rain.

The tension hasn't been as bad for obvious. But I'm still surprised of how many people are clueless. I was in a local eating establishment today when I heard the wait-person say "I heard it a hurricane was coming to Louisiana", with kind of a "whatever" look on her face. It was probably just as well.

I think God today. I think Him that I didn't come to us. I thank Him that Ike weakened as it approached and won't be so strong. I think Him for a strong house that is not effected by the winds. There is just so much to be thankful for.

Later.

Finis

Journey: Personal - In less than twelve hours it's all over. It's amazing that we never lost power. And we never lost cable television. Well, actually we did but not until after Gustav passed. I wouldn't have really cared except I was looking forward to watching the season premiere of Prison Break.

So all that's left is the cleanup. And there's enough of that. Take a look.

and

So the danger is over. Now comes the sweat.

Thank you, Lord, for your incredible blessings, love and grace.

Crecendo

Journey: Personal - So far it's been almost boring. But now the center is approaching, and it won't be boring any longer. The worst winds are close. It's still better than they predicted but it's still bad.

We still have power but its flickering. We may loose it all together soon. I'll keep Twittering (klcheshire) and FBing as long as I can.

It won't be too much longer now and Gustav will be history for us. Then there are the poor people that have to deal with all the rains and flooding when it's in its tropical storm mode.

I'm starting to pray about Hanna and my friends in Florida now. Remember, keep the focus on God.

Somebody's Knocking

Journey: Personal - Well here we go.

It was a very quiet night. Got nothing from the outer bands at all. I checked several times and it wasn't even windy.

So I'm guessing all of that is getting ready to change. I just went outside and stole Tim's newspaper (way to go paperboy) and felt very small droplets of water, but nothing steady.

I still hear someone hammering at something in the next neighborhood over. I quickly showered and filled the new tub with water. What a way to see how the drain stopper works.

I'm a little nervous but otherwise at peace. I continue to focus on God and His incredible love and mercy on me. Even in the worst case and I should loose any- to everything, I continue to be blessed beyond by deserving.

To all of my friends praying, thank you. I strongly believe it is helping. Continue to pray that God continues the refinement of my spirit, mind and body. I love you all.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. - Isaiah 43

Forgive that each post now sounds like it's the last one. I just never know which one is before I loose power. :)